Hello, my lovely readers! I hope everyone is well and safe! I’m back at it today with another update on my shitshow life or lack thereof. No one has a life right now, though. There is just quarantine. And lots and lots of TikTok (still not sure how I feel about it but some are funny, and I’ll take what I can get). Being high risk and on super lockdown is hard. Every day I feel closer to death, and every day I feel a little further from all the people that make me feel safe when I’m scared. I haven’t left my house in so long I’ve forgotten what the outside world even looks like. I do make drive-by visits at my boyfriend’s house, but I can’t leave the car, and I pretty much just wave and try to appear like I’m alright by some stretch of the word. I’m not sure if seeing him like that helps or hurts. Lately, I’ve been crying every day just to cope, and if I’m going to cry, I’d rather cry because I got to see him up close than because I can’t see him at all. That being said, we are blessed to live in a time that offers so many ways to stay connected. I honestly thought that would make me feel better then I do. It’s just not the same. All I want is to hug him for a little while. I don’t care what app you have; nothing can fill that hole like the real thing (although I have gotten to try a few cool ones as a result of the situation). Screens are honestly getting old. My eyes are sore and itchy, but it’s either a screen or nothing. It’s kind of incredible what you can do with a laptop. What’s funny is I do have my mom here, and even though you’d think she would be great for human interaction, it turns out when you are trapped in a house with one person, it’s pretty fuckin easy to get sick of them. I love her, but it’s like the two of us are cool until one of us gets bored and decides to try and piss off the other one. She is coming around to my new cat peter though; she thinks he is pretty great once she has her evening wine, so honestly, I say drink up, if it helps her cope then I get it. It‘s like the way I feel about ice cream. I love Peter. He doesn’t leave my side. I don’t think I could get through the quarantine without him. It’s so much better to have something with a heartbeat to cuddle with right now.
I’m just scared for when the quarantine is over. This whole thing kind of blew up my life as someone who would die if infected with the virus. I’m lost. I have no idea what comes next for me. I’m trying to figure it out, but I don’t know. All I know is that I have this blog, and that is something. Especially if I can get a few more people paying attention to it. I just want to spread the good word about makeup. I say I’m a self-taught makeup artist, but that is just because I do crazy stuff with makeup sometimes. I just really want all women to feel like no matter who they are, what they do, or what challenges they are facing, they deserve to pamper themselves. To look in the mirror every day and feel fantastic and powerful, no matter what. So if you know any women who need to know that they are beautiful and they kick ass every day, make sure you tell them. Even if they seem like they know it already, it’s always nice to hear that because it means the image they are working hard to project is coming across. Keep being kind and staying safe, everyone. Sending my love to all❤🌺
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