Saturday, September 12

Hello pretty people! I am excited to announce that my first at Paul Mitchell, despite being over zoom, was fantastic. Everyone is awesome. I have 17 new awesome friends. Also, I somehow summoned some hidden braiding ability and finally mastered French, fishtail, and twists. I thought that was going to be a real problem but apparently it's not that big of a deal as far as actually becoming a professional is concerned. I am worried about updos but I have plenty of time to practice. I have been coughing a bit more lately and I'm not sure why. I am sure it is fine but I realized that my past trauma is pretty haunting. I have been really struggling with not randomly panicking. I cough and I feel like it's coming back for me. Like I escaped a killer but that killer doesn't feel done with its work and it's always going to be there stalking me. Waiting for the right moment to attack again, so I just have to make sure I don't give it an opportunity to do so. That's easier said than done. I think giving in to the fear is what will break me. I have to keep pushing. I have to stay fearless. In other news, I now have a giant rolling case of professional hair tools and an extremely lifelike doll head with which to practice. A doll head which now scares me every time I walk into the room and see it staring into my soul. My apartment lease is signed and move-in day is October 11. That means I will have to make the commute from Lexington to Portsmouth for a few days which sucks but I'll be fine. I want this. I have decided that whatever I have to do, it's worth it. The countdown is on. 4 weeks, 11 hours, 17 minutes, and 40 seconds till move out day. I feel like once I move, everything that has happened to me this past year, good and bad, will be over. Like all the loose ends I have been holding on to will finally either be closed and finished or they will be loose and I will have to choose to let go instead of hanging on for closure. I used to think that everything somehow ended up getting closure one way or another but I have learned that some shit you have got to just let go. Anyway, I'm signing off for now but I will be posting a video about the hunt for an apartment and navigating moving during COVID-19. Stay safe everyone!

🌺Maggie Babson🌺