Hello internet! I am happy to announce that despite feeling like absolute garbage the night before my grad ceremony...I MADE IT!! Of course, after all the pictures and handshakes were over I proceeded to head straight to the ER the next morning, but hey I fuckin' did it! It feels great to have accomplished something but there is part of me that is kinda struggling with it. Up to this point in my life, I have primarily been fighting Cystic Fibrosis for a high school education. Now that it's done, the only thing I am fighting for is just to stay alive and keep existing for the next chapter. However, being cooped up in a hospital room with nothing to do but think, I've come up with a few reasons, scratch that, people, that I am fighting. There are so many people I simply cannot leave behind yet. Plus, I am getting everything in place to start off college kicking ass. It is hard to visualize myself in college though, and I can't seem to shake those few nerves I already have building up in the pit of my stomach. Right now my only plan to tackle this problem is to simply go through the motions of orientation and whatnot and plan to process the changes when they get a bit closer. By that, I of course mean pretend nothing is changing until everything is different. I usually do ok in a sink or swim type situation. Usually. This week I filled out all the forms and things to get a single room. I really don't need a drunken hoe fucking around with my vest settings and hypodermic needles at 2 AM. Even though it is part of the classic college experience to have roommates, it's also not part of the classic college experience to have a life-threatening chronic illness so...🤷🏼♀Anyway, doctors say I can hopefully get the fuck out of here on Monday. Smart move by them because anything beyond that and I might actually murder a resident.
thursday, june 6~4:50 pm
Updated: Jun 9, 2019
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