Hello blogiverse. My lack of posts recently is actually a good thing. I'd say for the last few weeks I've been pretty content with life. Even last week when I was in the ICU with dangerously low hemoglobin. I was mad, obviously, it was finals week and the dorms were closing and the whole family was coming in and the stress level was through the roof. Talk about bad timing. But, when the dust settled and I got to come home, I realized that underneath all the anger, the happiness was still there. Not only was it still there but it felt like the anger was just this meaningless mood that was meant to come and go. CF will always be there to piss me off but when all is said and done, I have so much to be happy about. I gave my fucking absolute all to my classes, even when I would've rather been making content for this blog, and it paid off. I did pretty well for how significantly my life was changing during this semester. Recently I've been thinking about how this blog factors into my adult life. I have to find an internship for the summer, and as much as I hate to admit it, the stress of that has left room for little else in my brain. I started thinking about my career. I used to never want to think about after college because I always assumed that even if I got a degree, I'd be too sick to ever actually do anything with it. Since Trikafta, I might actually get to have a future. I am a journalism major, which works because I have always thought that if anything, I'd want to be a writer. I want to be an investigative journalist and hopefully start getting aggressive with my blog so I can make money off it since I don't want to be working away from home when I have kids. Kids. That is the other thing I decided I definitely want. There are, however, a few things I want to get rid of. The extra 15 pounds I've gained since starting school being one of them. I want to rid myself of my constant sleepiness and lack of drive to do things in my personal life that I'm passionate about, such as this blog. I want to get rid of the introverted hobbit I became somewhere along the way and actually start doing adult socializing. It would also be nice if I could really get a handle on my CF care. If I could just get into a really good routine things would really start to get awesome. Now that I'm on break I plan to start to pursue these goals. I even bought a goal crushing self-help planner on Etsy. If all goes well hopefully this blog will start to get all filled up with cool new content. I have a lot of ideas. Plus I am absolutely ready to make a new beauty post because creating new faces was pretty much my only destress strategy at school and my skills are sharper than ever. Anyway, I wanted to talk about my little sister in this one. Mainly about how proud I am of her. Not because she is a well behaved, straight-A student, but she is a complete and total fuck up and she totally owns it. She knows she isn't Einstein and she isn't perfect but she likes it that way and she doesn't care what anyone thinks. I'm never allowed to say this out loud because Dad says I just egg her on with her craziness. There is actually a lot I admire about that. She isn't afraid of anything, especially not Dad. When I was her age I let the fear of what he would think of me or how he would react control me. It felt like I was suffocating and it made me treat him like shit. I was so mad at him. I wish I was like her though because then I would've just lived my life. Yeah, he would've been a little mad but he would've gotten over it and I would've learned so much more by just discovering the world and who I was and how I fit into it. That being said, the temperature in the house has been kinda on the rise since she has been testing her limits. It's not so bad for me though, no one is paying attention to me. I just get to take it all in.
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